For those of you that don’t know what a backronym is, it’s like an acronym but in reverse. The phrase is constructed from the brand name, AFTER the name was created. Not the other way round like an acronym. Over the years, creative car owners have been inventing these, usually to describe the failings of their own vehicles although sometimes to mock their friend’s cars as well. Here are some of the funniest (and brutally honest) ones I’ve heard of!
Number 1 – Ford
There are several funny Ford-related backronyms, depending on whether you’re a fan of the brand or not. The favorite has to be the well-known Fix Or Repair Daily. Another option is Fast Only Rolling Downhill, although not used as much. Hardcore Ford fans occasionally like to the point out that Ford can also mean First On Race Day, although those people are probably slightly strange, so might be best avoided!
Number 2 – Dodge
Dodge has gathered a few backronyms over the years too, each one unfortunately suggesting that their vehicles aren’t entirely up to scratch. Drops Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere, and Dad`s Old Dead Garage Experiment are my favorites. Maybe it is true, maybe not but I wouldn’t mind owning a 426 Hemi-powered Charger to be fair!
Number 3 – Lotus
Lotus has always been known for using components and engines from other brands, and even when the original design was perfect, the execution has sometimes been problematic. This has led to the bacronym Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious. Usually said by Lotus owners themselves funnily enough. Good old British engineering built in a shed might also have something to do with it, but the use of the Rover K series with head gasket problems might also be a big factor. Repairing an entirely fiberglass body is also eyewateringly expensive, so yes pretty serious.
Number 4 – Subaru
Subarus are usually considered to be well-engineered and durable vehicles, being Japanese of course. Its most common backronym though is Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually. Pretty, harsh, we must admit, so probably someone with a little too much free time on their hands coming up with that!
Number 5 – FIAT
Italian cars have always had a reputation for being unreliable and the worlds most prominent Italian car companies – Fiat doesn’t break that rule, at least in the eyes of the people who mock it! Fix It Again Tomorrow is probably the most famous or alternately its spin off, Fix It Again, Tony. The most brutal one is Failed Italian Automotive Technology, probably made up by disgruntled owners. You’ve got to admit, fiat have made some awesome cars over the years.
Number 6 – BMW
Even though BMW`s marketing slogan “Ultimate Driving Machine” is popular, the backronym is still pretty funny. As anyone with an E60 M5 might confirm, BMWs repair costs are pretty steep, at least compared to their comparatively low used purchase prices. Does Break My Wallet sound familier to anyone?
Number 7 – Jeep
Regardless of Jeeps stellar off-road reputation, enthusiasts know that older models are not exactly the most screwed together cars on the planet, although that could just be their wear and tear? Any old Jeep owners watching? Whoever thinks up these backronyms are pretty damn ruthless though, showing no mercy with Junk Engineering Executed Poorly or Just Expect Excessive Problems.
Number 8 – MG
We’re sad that the MG sports cars of old are no longer with us. It was once the largest roadster company in the world with great cars like the TC, TD, MG A and MG B. They’re making a comeback of sorts in the UK, but not much in the way of sporty stuff as of yet. The companies real name was derived from Morris Garages, started in Oxford but the world knows it as simply MG. Or as the Money Grabber, depending on who you ask.
Number 9 – Pontiac
This one is our favorite. Pontiac is actually a town in Michigan but according to some it should be People On Narcotics Think It’s A Cadillac. I wonder how long it took them to come up with that! It is rooted in truth though. Cadillac and Pontiac were both part of General Motors but didn’t often share much apart from some minor mechanical components. As the saying suggests, you might be high as the kite to mix up these two brands.
Number 10 – SAAB
In a video the other day, I covered the sad destiny of the SAAB company. For fans of this Swedish brand, there are two ways of describing what the name really means though. One quite well thought out backronym is “Sadly Absent, Always Broken,” The other, not so much is “Sad Attempt At Beauty.” To that person, I’d say “Sad Attempt At Backronym”; Don’t diss Saabs design!
Number 11 – Porsche
You might think finding a backronym that makes sense for Porsche would be difficult, probably why there’s only one. Its pure gold though, and if you ever wondered what Porsche stands for, its Proof Of Rich Spoilt Children, Having Everything. Only joking. Trust fund kids with their parent’s money aside, Porsches are brilliant and probably could do with a more complimentary version!
Number 12 – Triumph
Some of us might know of the cool little roadsters from Triumph – the Spitfire or the TR6. Despite being excellent, these cars were produced during the `70s when quality control meant crossing your fingers. British built too, not exactly a recipe for reliability. This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help is actually pretty damn clever, so props to whoever thought of that.
So, there you are. I must have missed some, so let me know in the comments if you’ve thought of any others. Thanks for reading!